Heather's Heart

This is where I get to share my heart as part of Dowling Family Ministries, Inc. Being a Mama is ALL I've ever wanted to be and here is where I'm choosing to share about it! Come along with me. We can share in joys, tears, successes and fears.....it's gonna be goooood! :)

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Master's Degree in Juggling?

How many cups of tea can I juggle at once?

As women, moms and wives we seem to be a type of Master Juggler. We have been in juggling school for years! Some of us even have MASTERS DEGREES!
Right now our life is in such transition...let me attempt to make a list of all the things I am attempting to contain in my tea cups right now:
  • Transition from full time ministry to Bubba working in the market place and doing ministry part time
  • Moving to Topeka
  • Not having enough money to pay our bills
  • Not having enough money to move to Topeka
  • Walking with multiple friends going through tough times
  • Saying good bye to friends
  • Not seeing Anna for over two months now
  • Supporting Bubba as he does his paperwork for the new job
  • Applying for housing (with no $ remember!)
  • Packing and sorting
  • Christmas!
  • Five of our six children's birthdays
  • Laundry, laundry and more laundry
  • Cooking, cleaning, training, educating
  • Deciding what we need to do with Nathan for school when we move
  • Nursing
  • Kids home work
  • Making SERIOUS decisions
  • etc. etc. etc.
Writing this list makes me feel stressed! haha
I am so glad I have Jesus praying for me all the time and the Father loving me and holding my hand while he speaks to me all day, every day! I feel so unqualified for this job....but the truth is, I AM CALLED. I AM A DAUGHTER OF THE KING. I CAN DO THIS. 
Now if my flesh will just believe what my spirit knows! :)
Please pray for me as I hold all these cups....this is truly difficult people!

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Dreams? What dreams?

     Sunday, our Pastor was talking about not giving up on the prophetic words God had given each of us. But, the problem I'm having is that I can't even remember the Words the Lord has given us! I use to dream about the promises the Lord had given us, I could see them, feel them, BELIEVE them. 
     So, onto what Pastor was saying... He gave us four things to do with the promises the Lord had given us:

1. Receive it - Matt 10: 41,42

2. Believe it - Hab 2: 1-3

3. Contend for it - 1 Tim 1: 18-20

4. Declare it - Psalms 62: 11

(If you would like all the "sermon" notes, let me know and I can get them to you)

    I have focused for so long on mere provision, basic finances/needs to live, that I have lost the dreams God placed in my heart! Aaahhhhh! Ok, enough whining! haha
     Now all I need to do is search out the random pieces of paper I wrote tons of different words from the Lord on, pray for Holy Spirit to remind me of the others aaaand get serious about this!!!!
     Father, I choose to believe your words, your promises, your voice. You are the author and finisher of my faith and I know you have this under control....Please hold on tight to me, Jesus! I love you :)

*Enjoying a simple cup of black tea.....sometimes life NEEDS to be simple, even if just for tea time!*

Monday, July 22, 2013

My cup of tea

     "That's not my cup of tea." 
     Have you ever said that? Maybe you were asked to coordinate the Valentine party at school. Maybe you were asked to baby sit the 18 month and under children for the special service at church. Maybe you were asked to bake 4 pies for the family reunion. No matter the situation, you knew it wasn't your strong suit or even on your radar of fun things to do! 
     Being a mom is my cup of tea. Am I perfect at it? No. Do I have all the answers for each situation that comes up in our daily lives? No. But, I know for a fact that being a mom is EXACTLY my cup of tea! :)
     I've never wanted to be anything else! When I was a little girl in Kindergarten and the teacher asked what I wanted to be when I grew up my answer was always, "A mama".
     I've practiced for this role my whole life! I was mothering everything I could get my hands on from the time I was tiny: kittens, cats, puppies, dolls, my brother, etc. I had the play kitchen, the dishes, the play food, the metal shed (play house) with a RED WOOD DECK! ;)
     I had my first husband picked out at the age of 5. His name was Matt, had blond hair and blue eyes. He didn't seem nearly as interested in my wedding plans for us. haha
     I will be very honest here and tell you that it's not all fairy-tails and roses being the mama of 6 children. There are days when a job outside of my house sounds, well.....AWESOME!!! There are days where I wish I could sit down, read my Bible and drink whatever I want with out ANYONE asking what I'm doing, sitting on me or asking for a drink of my drink. Yet, I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world!
     As much as I wanted to be a mama, I needed so much help getting to the place where I could love my children. To hear about how that happened read my post "Learning to Love".
     Jesus has changed me so much! I'm thankful that my kids don't have to be raised by the "old me". She was one rough cookie! Like the oatmeal/chocolate chip/NAILS kind! haha
     My heart wants to serve my husband and children. My heart wants to love and be loved (it's still pretty scary at times), but I want it! My heart wants to help other Mama's realize how much they are loved, cherished and adored by the best Father any of us could EVER ask for....HE'S pretty amazing :)
     So, I declare it here and now: Being a Mama IS my cup of tea! It's yours too, if you have a little one running around your house! ;)

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Learning to Love

Learning to love another,
Beyond the blue
That has taken me all the way to you.
You could say it was "Destineed" to be,
Me loving you, you loving me.
The Father's love wrapped in blonde curls,
and set in my heart, where you'll
always be.
You started it all, little girl,
The love pouring out.
The love of a Mama pouring like a spout!
Thank you Father, for the love of our daughter,
The gentle, flowing love that's been going on since we got her!

Saturday, June 15, 2013

Celebrating Father's Day.....with forgiveness

When Father's Day comes around, I have to be honest, I'm not excited. I mean, I am to celebrate my husband. He's awesome! I like the idea of helping my kids honor their daddy/my hubby with traditional man stuff: BBQ, tools, hand made cards, sweet kid-made things, ya know.
But when my dad has never really felt like a dad to me....Father's Day makes me sad. I heard a pastor the other day, talking about his dad, on the radio. I wept. His dad loved him so much. He blessed him, on purpose. Like actually thought it through and prayed for him, spent time with him, let him know he loved him NO MATTER WHAT! I have no frame of reference for that type of fatherly love.
I have forgiven my dad. He did what he knew to do in the "father role". I just mourn the idea of a dad who adores me...

Oh, I know my Heavenly Father thinks I'm AMAZING! :)  It's hard to get that deep in your spirit when the one you saw, with your eyes, here on earth.............didn't.
So, here's to Father's Day! I choose to celebrate my Father. The one who gave his most PRECIOUS possession, Jesus, so he could be with ME for eternity!
I love you, Heather.

So, today my cup of tea has a smackerel of FORGIVENESS :)